I love you and your twin so much I am so sorry you are not here i think about you everyday.

I loved you more then words could explain my decision was solely on the best interest for you and your brothers and your twin<3

My sweet baby,

My sweet baby,

I keep wondering what could have been. I didn’t want to say goodbye, but I didn’t know what kind of life I could give you. In letting you go, I feel like I lost a piece of myself and the person I had you with. Your sister will never know you, and that breaks my heart — she wished so much for a baby sister. I’m sorry I couldn’t do my best. Please know that every decision came from love. You are a part of me, always.

Rest peacefully my sweet baby angel.

Im so sorry I let you go baby girl, I think about you everyday & I wish i could go back in time & change certain decision. I love you with everything, We'll meet one another soon baby girl.

You may not be with us in physically, but you will always be in our hearts ❤️ We will see you when we get there ✝️

Dear Ellie Mae, my sweet baby I love and miss you so much. I will always cherish the time that we did have together with you in my belly. I'm sorry for not protecting you more, I regret my decision every single day but I will never forget you and I am so blessed to be your mommy. I can't wait to meet you one day in heaven. I love you even more than that and so do your siblings. ❤️

Dear Olivia,

I cherish the moments that I did get to spend with you. I loved you so much and you are always forever in our hearts. We will all be united together one day. Thank you for teaching me that purpose can from pain and that strength is found in vulnerability. You helped me create and start my podcast which is reaching and blessing women of faith all over. You are my inspiration.

Dear River,

My sweet baby, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. You are always in my heart, my love for you never fades. Until we meet again my sweet angel.

Before I knew you were there, I wrote a song for your Dad. I wanted to memorialize our love in song, but I couldn't quite figure out the right ending. Then, I saw two little pink lines, and I knew what to do. When your Dad got home from work, I secretly sat up my phone to record, and told him I'd finished the song and wanted to know what he thought. I sang to him about how proud of him I am, how thankful I am for our love, and that because of that love, a new little baby was going to be born. He was so surprised! We laughed and cried and held each other. We couldn't wait to meet you. You couldn't wait either, and it was too soon, but it's not your fault honey. I love and miss you. You would have been an amazing big sister, I'm sure of it. I'll see you when I get there baby girl.

Mummy loves and misses you so much my baby, fly high x

My baby boy, just know you were always wanted and always loved and you'll always remain a part of me. I love you

Julian,

My 1st baby boy! I hope you have forgiven me for aborting you.I was young and nieve. You live in my heart and I think about you and feel you often. I know you are always watching over me and your younger siblings. Until we meet in heaven, I love you!!

i love you & I hope you find me again. I'm so sorry

I wish I took the time to really think my choices through. Thinking I wasnt ready for you was the biggest mistake I made in my life and I hope you forgive me for that. I love you always my baby. Til we meet again.

My sweet baby boy! I'm SOOO sorry I never gave you a second thought 😔 that I took that choice away from you! 😪 I love you and I know Jesus is holding you for me and one day we'll be together! 🥰

I always see you in my dreams sweet baby and wonder who you would have been

Love ,mommy

I love you, Mark. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to live your life, but I know you're with Jesus. I didn't stand up for you when I had the chance. I held the guilt for many years. I'm blessed that God has you in heaven waiting for me

I am so sorry for losing you. I feel so extremely guilty. I understand my stress levels were through the roof and needed to relax on my end. I should have taken care of you better I am sorry.

We so sorry my love I wish I took more time to think I wish I never let this happen to you we love you foreve. love mommy+Daddy

I'll love you into eternity ❤️

I love you. You took a piece of me with you. I saw you and your beautiful blonde hair in my dreams and I knew that your Heavenly Father is looking after you. I can't think about you without crying even after all these years. I miss you my sweet boy.

Loved you before I met you, until we meet again. Will carry you in my heart

Dear Trey,

I am so very thankful for the time that I got to spend with you. From the moment I found out about you I was so excited to be your mommy. You are so loved and adored. Being your mommy has been one of the best things to happen to me and I am truly blesse. there isn't a day that goes by that I don't talk to you and tell you how loved and cared for you are. I can't wait to see you again one day. I love you to the moon and back agai.

When we lost your sisters, their names came to me after they were gone. I knew your name from the moment I found out about you. We lost you the same way we lost Aria, you just stopped growing. It's a lot of work, going all the way from a tiny little cluster of cells to a full grown baby! Your brother and sister were SO excited to get a baby, and sometimes I wish I hadn't told them about you. Grief is a hard emotion for suck little kids to carry. But most of the time, I'm thankful that they know that they'very got a baby brother waiting in heaven for them. Sometimes I wonder if you'll be our last baby. In my heart I hope not, but in my brain I know it's likely. I'm the oldest sibling, so I don't know what it's like to be youngest. I hear that it means you can get away with more, and even though we've only got two of your four siblings living here, it's true of them! Your brother is a rule follower, and your sister doesn't seem to know that there are any rules! I wonder what you would have been like. Mostly, I wonder if you would have had red hair like them. I think it would have been brown, like mine. I'm glad that you aren't by yourself in heaven. I think you and your sisters are the first of our whole family to be there. I know you're safe in the arms of our Savior, but I wish I would have got to hold you too. I love you little man. Can't wait to meet you.

Hi baby gael 🤍 I love you and miss you so much, i know your daddy does too. Your in heaven and one day we'll meet again. I'm so sorry mommy and daddy were too young we made mistakes that weren't your fault, i'll forever keep you in my heart. You're my first baby i can't express how much i love you and wish i had you in my arms. There's not a day your not in the back of my mind. I know your watching over me and one day you'll come back to me i know you will baby.

I love you

Baby Charlotte,

You never made it here on Earth with me, God decided he needed you more in Heaven with Him. You are loved by me, until we meet in Heaven, I am so sorry and I love you!!

Baby Grace!

Precious baby girl! I love you!! How I wish I could have met you and held you in my arms. I was scared to be a Mommy, but what I wouldn't give to have been stronger and make my own decision to keep you. I robbed you of you living a life, marriage, and being a Mommy yourself. We would've been best friends by now. I apologize baby Grace. I can't wait to meet you in heaven!!

To my baby J, though we never met, you will always hold a special place in my heart. I'm so sorry my baby, I made a decision that I regret so much everyday. Until we meet again my little one, we'll never forget you🩵.

It breaks my heart that both of you aren't here with me. Mommy tried everything to keep you. God knows how much I miss you but he also knew mommy wasn't ready. One day I'll come home to see you , sissy and papa , for now i hope you guys are dancing for me . I know you're mommy's gaurdian angels & nothing will ever take my love away from u.

My beloved son Abel,

I can't express how much I love you. I am so sorry that ended your precious life, it will forever be my greatest regret. I think about you every day and I long for the day that I get to meet you and see your precious face. I found Jesus and I know you are in His hands. I find comfort knowing this, and that I get to see you soon. I love you so much son. You are such a blessing and you mean the world to me. I will see you soon. ❤️

Love, Mom

Dear Jazmine I'm sorry you could not be here with us here on earth with your two brothers Adam, Zachary and your sister Nadya. May God forgive me for not remembering you as we should, I want you to know like the name for you to be Jazmine but God is the one who really Named you and knew you first and I know with Grace of God we will be joined together in heaven as a family when it is our call to be heaven and I can't wait to meet you my dear Jasmine Love your Dad on earth.

I love you, Derek. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you, but I know you're in the best place possible...in heaven with Jesus. I had a chance to stand up for you and keep you, but I didn't. I was young and wasn't strong. I'm blessed God chose me and saved me so that I can spend eternity with you...

Sweet baby Zion rest easy in the arms of our creator. Mommy and daddy miss you. We love you forever!

My first love.

We loved you before we knew about you and we loved you while you where here and we love you now that you're gone. We will never forget you. Layton, you are still our whole world not a day goes by that you aren't thought about. What we would do just to be with you. We love you forever and always.

My cousin was murdered. She was going to be given to my aunt who was dealing with infertility but got the abortion instead. Rest in love my cousin. I don't know the gender so I gave the neutral name Phoenix.

To my baby Angel, I think about you often and you will always & forever have a place in our hearts. I like to think of how you watch over and take care of your brother and sisters. Thank you for teaching me how to keep on going and to how to keep on loving. You are so loved.

Dear Summer,

I have loved you from the day I first found out I was pregnant with you. I have always wanted to be a mommy and I was so happy to be your mommy. I was young, scared, happy and, excited all at the same time. My favorite memory that I will always have of you is seeing you turning flips and playing in my belly. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, or tell you how much I love you. I can't wait to see you again one day. Mommy loves you to the moon and back again.

Oh Aria, your Daddy was so excited to meet you. When we lost Thea, he was so worried that I wasn't going to make it through surgery, and we found out about you so soon after that he'd barely stopped to grieve. When we saw you on our first ultrasound, you were so tiny. I knew right then something wasn't right. That's my job, I'm your momma. I think your Dad didn't realize how serious our doctor's concerns were, until we got home and I cried for days. I hear so many people argue about whether or not they should be allowed to stop the tiny little hearts of babies like you. All I wanted was to see yours beat. Nine days later, at our next ultrasound, you hadn't moved. You hadn't grown. I knew before I saw you that you were gone. I'm so sorry for how detached I was that day. We had just lost Thea, and my grief was still fresh. Your Dad cried on the way home from that appointment. His grief matched mine, for the first time. I wasn't ready to be pregnant again, but I wasn't ready to lose you, either. My grief for you and your sister nearly consumed me. My faith in Jesus was so new, just a spark, and I wished nothing more than to go be with Him, and with you. In the midst of my deepest grief, God gave me a dream. He showed me you, and Thea. Honey, you are so beautiful. You and your sister look like siblings, but Thea looks more like me. You look like your Daddy, and your little sister. He's going to be happy to see that when we get to you. I love you my sweet song.

Reign you have already shaped me in ways that you couldn't imagine. i am so sorry that I couldn't keep you, but I pray every day that you are safe in Gods arms. I pray that He holds you tighter than I ever could and that you forgive me in time to come. I love you and will always have you in my heart. I pray one day I can hold you closely to my chest and tell you how much I cherish the time we had and how much you have had an impression me. For you I will become the best person I can be and l live life loving you every second along the way. I love you so much and can't wait for the moment God will let us meet again. With silent tears and a heavy heart I write this,

Your mom🤍

I love you

Noah,

I regret not giving you a chance at life here with me. I know you are in heaven and Jesus is holding you and you are playing with your other siblings. I love you and can't wait to meet you in Heaven!

To my beautiful baby sunny. I am so sorry I never got a chance to meet you, I'm so sorry I didn't know how to stand up for myself and I let someone force me into not keeping you. I hope you know that you are so loved and that not a single day goes by where I don't think of you. If i could have my time over, I wouldve stood up to him and kept you. I know you're smiling down at me from heaven, and I know you're watching over me. I love you so much my little sunflower, I'm so sorry

Not a day goes by that I don't think about how perfect you could of been. Not a day goes where I don't imagine how beautiful your eyes your nose your ears or just everything about you really could of been. Whenever I see a pretty sunrise I think about you which is funny because you know mommy absolutely hates waking up early in the morning but she does now just to get a reminder of you. Thinking that mommy and daddy weren't ready for you will forever be the biggest mistake of my life. You were the perfect example of how much mommy and daddy truly loved each other. I will never forget about you and I hope you can forgive mommy some day and that you know you will forever be in mommy's heart I will never forget you and I will never stop loving you for the rest of my life because I love you Milo and you will forever be the missing part of my heart that I wish I could hold dear everyday.

I dont know how i can miss someone ive never met but I miss you jelly bean . I was so excited to meet you & see you grow up 100x better than mommy did . I wouldve given you the world if i couldve . I wish you were here but I know God had other plans and it just wasn't your time . I hope you're dancing in the sky with papa & your brother. I love you bean, mommy will be home one day. <3

My beautiful Lyla, You are a blessing from God.

I want you to know how much I love you, and how much I think about you. I would do anything to have you here with me. I think about you every single day. I found Jesus, and I know you are with Him. I find comfort knowing this, and that I will see you soon. I hope you know how much I truly love you. I can't wait for the day that I get to hold you, my beautiful baby girl. You are so loved and you will never be forgotten. ❤️

Love, Mom

I love you, Julia. I know you're in heaven with Jesus. I'll see you one day. I was young and made some poor choices, which weren't your fault. You've got 3 brothers in heaven and 2 sisters here on earth and we'll reunite one day.