Baby Memorial
Amos
When we lost your sisters, their names came to me after they were gone. I knew your name from the moment I found out about you. We lost you the same way we lost Aria, you just stopped growing. It's a lot of work, going all the way from a tiny little cluster of cells to a full grown baby! Your brother and sister were SO excited to get a baby, and sometimes I wish I hadn't told them about you. Grief is a hard emotion for suck little kids to carry. But most of the time, I'm thankful that they know that they'very got a baby brother waiting in heaven for them. Sometimes I wonder if you'll be our last baby. In my heart I hope not, but in my brain I know it's likely. I'm the oldest sibling, so I don't know what it's like to be youngest. I hear that it means you can get away with more, and even though we've only got two of your four siblings living here, it's true of them! Your brother is a rule follower, and your sister doesn't seem to know that there are any rules! I wonder what you would have been like. Mostly, I wonder if you would have had red hair like them. I think it would have been brown, like mine. I'm glad that you aren't by yourself in heaven. I think you and your sisters are the first of our whole family to be there. I know you're safe in the arms of our Savior, but I wish I would have got to hold you too. I love you little man. Can't wait to meet you.
Gael
Hi baby gael 🤍 I love you and miss you so much, i know your daddy does too. Your in heaven and one day we'll meet again. I'm so sorry mommy and daddy were too young we made mistakes that weren't your fault, i'll forever keep you in my heart. You're my first baby i can't express how much i love you and wish i had you in my arms. There's not a day your not in the back of my mind. I know your watching over me and one day you'll come back to me i know you will baby.
Grace Abigail
Baby Grace!
Precious baby girl! I love you!! How I wish I could have met you and held you in my arms. I was scared to be a Mommy, but what I wouldn't give to have been stronger and make my own decision to keep you. I robbed you of you living a life, marriage, and being a Mommy yourself. We would've been best friends by now. I apologize baby Grace. I can't wait to meet you in heaven!!
Braxton Scott
It breaks my heart that both of you aren't here with me. Mommy tried everything to keep you. God knows how much I miss you but he also knew mommy wasn't ready. One day I'll come home to see you , sissy and papa , for now i hope you guys are dancing for me . I know you're mommy's gaurdian angels & nothing will ever take my love away from u.
Aria
Oh Aria, your Daddy was so excited to meet you. When we lost Thea, he was so worried that I wasn't going to make it through surgery, and we found out about you so soon after that he'd barely stopped to grieve. When we saw you on our first ultrasound, you were so tiny. I knew right then something wasn't right. That's my job, I'm your momma. I think your Dad didn't realize how serious our doctor's concerns were, until we got home and I cried for days. I hear so many people argue about whether or not they should be allowed to stop the tiny little hearts of babies like you. All I wanted was to see yours beat. Nine days later, at our next ultrasound, you hadn't moved. You hadn't grown. I knew before I saw you that you were gone. I'm so sorry for how detached I was that day. We had just lost Thea, and my grief was still fresh. Your Dad cried on the way home from that appointment. His grief matched mine, for the first time. I wasn't ready to be pregnant again, but I wasn't ready to lose you, either. My grief for you and your sister nearly consumed me. My faith in Jesus was so new, just a spark, and I wished nothing more than to go be with Him, and with you. In the midst of my deepest grief, God gave me a dream. He showed me you, and Thea. Honey, you are so beautiful. You and your sister look like siblings, but Thea looks more like me. You look like your Daddy, and your little sister. He's going to be happy to see that when we get to you. I love you my sweet song.
Reign
Reign you have already shaped me in ways that you couldn't imagine. i am so sorry that I couldn't keep you, but I pray every day that you are safe in Gods arms. I pray that He holds you tighter than I ever could and that you forgive me in time to come. I love you and will always have you in my heart. I pray one day I can hold you closely to my chest and tell you how much I cherish the time we had and how much you have had an impression me. For you I will become the best person I can be and l live life loving you every second along the way. I love you so much and can't wait for the moment God will let us meet again. With silent tears and a heavy heart I write this,
Your mom🤍
Sunny
To my beautiful baby sunny. I am so sorry I never got a chance to meet you, I'm so sorry I didn't know how to stand up for myself and I let someone force me into not keeping you. I hope you know that you are so loved and that not a single day goes by where I don't think of you. If i could have my time over, I wouldve stood up to him and kept you. I know you're smiling down at me from heaven, and I know you're watching over me. I love you so much my little sunflower, I'm so sorry
Milo
Not a day goes by that I don't think about how perfect you could of been. Not a day goes where I don't imagine how beautiful your eyes your nose your ears or just everything about you really could of been. Whenever I see a pretty sunrise I think about you which is funny because you know mommy absolutely hates waking up early in the morning but she does now just to get a reminder of you. Thinking that mommy and daddy weren't ready for you will forever be the biggest mistake of my life. You were the perfect example of how much mommy and daddy truly loved each other. I will never forget about you and I hope you can forgive mommy some day and that you know you will forever be in mommy's heart I will never forget you and I will never stop loving you for the rest of my life because I love you Milo and you will forever be the missing part of my heart that I wish I could hold dear everyday.
Desirae
I dont know how i can miss someone ive never met but I miss you jelly bean . I was so excited to meet you & see you grow up 100x better than mommy did . I wouldve given you the world if i couldve . I wish you were here but I know God had other plans and it just wasn't your time . I hope you're dancing in the sky with papa & your brother. I love you bean, mommy will be home one day. <3
Thea
Before I knew you were there, I wrote a song for your Dad. I wanted to memorialize our love in song, but I couldn't quite figure out the right ending. Then, I saw two little pink lines, and I knew what to do. When your Dad got home from work, I secretly sat up my phone to record, and told him I'd finished the song and wanted to know what he thought. I sang to him about how proud of him I am, how thankful I am for our love, and that because of that love, a new little baby was going to be born. He was so surprised! We laughed and cried and held each other. We couldn't wait to meet you. You couldn't wait either, and it was too soon, but it's not your fault honey. I love and miss you. You would have been an amazing big sister, I'm sure of it. I'll see you when I get there baby girl.